Parentree

Monday 26 November 2012

The Quiet Child: Does He Need to Talk?

Quiet children face problems wherever they go.- at school, in the family, at social gatherings and everywhere else in the world. While many children are reprimanded for being very talkative, another group of children is constantly labelled 'quiet'. Often, being quiet is equated with being shy. And being shy is considered an undesirable trait by many adults. It is not uncommon to find an adult, usually a parent, pushing a quiet child to open up and talk more, often much against the child's wish.

Have you ever wondered why someone who is quiet must be forced to open his mouth? Especially when he is happy staying quiet?

Before we can answer that, we must first consider the fact that everybody is UNIQUE.
Some people talk more, some people talk less. Some people socialise more, some socialise less.
Some people are extroverts, some others are introverts. Some love the company of people, some others are happy in their own little world.

In short, the world has a mix of people who are as varied as the variety in the world itself.

Consider this-An apple has to look and taste like an apple. Only then would it do justice to the fact that it is an apple.
A deer has to be elegant and timid. Only then would it make sense for it be a deer.

Imagine a deer trying to acquire the traits of a lion or behaving like one. Would it succeed? Or in the unlikely event that it did, would it do justice to its own unique personality and purpose?

Imagine doing something to make an apple taste like a water melon? Would it serve any purpose?

An apple is meant to be an apple.
A deer is meant to be a deer.

Similarly, a human being is meant be a human being, with his or her own unique personality.

Now from this perspective, think if there is anything wrong with being quiet or even shy?
Considering the variety that exists in the world, can we allow people the freedom to be as they are?

Now, one might argue that a quiet or shy person cannot be as successful as a talkative or an outgoing one. But I am sure all of us have met enough and more quiet people who are as successful as anyone else and also quite a number of people who talk a lot but have not been successful.

Well, what does a quiet person do when talking becomes a necessity in life? One may argue that if someone is quiet by nature, they will not have the courage to speak when the need arises.

To this, we might say that an apple is an apple, but when the need arises, it can also be converted into an apple cake or apple juice. But its essential nature of being an apple remains the same.



Similarly, a quiet person will also talk when life demands it. Everyone is capable and will do what is necessary when the need arises. However, their essential nature is to stay quiet and that is perfectly fine.

When we respect quiet children for what they are, they grow in confidence and learn to love themselves. This causes them to build a positive self image. A person with a positive self image stands a greater chance of succeeding in life., irrespective of whether he is quiet or talkative.

So, the next time you feel like telling a quiet child to open up, stop yourself. Take a moment to appreciate the unique nature of this child and respect him for what he or she is. Trust that the child has the capability to talk and open up, when the need arises. Build a rapport and strengthen your relationship.

A quiet child is also a CAPABLE CHILD!



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