Christmas:Hidden Gifts of Learning For Children!

The cheery festival of Christmas holds universal appeal. We can almost sense the love, joy and good will permeating the world. It gives us an opportunity to spend time with near and dear ones, cook and eat together, decorate our homes, exchange presents and revel in the spirit of the season.

Does it also have something in store for children? (Apart from the presents!)

Yes it does!

It  presents a wonderful opportunity for children to experience all that the season has to offer. However, this is possible only if we, as adults, can create an environment that would inspire them to participate and thereby experience all the good things the season has to offer. And it is only when they experience for themselves the joys of the season, that they would feel the desire to share the same with others, probably once they are a little older.

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Listed below are some ways that would make this possible.

• Be open about your enthusiasm for the festival and tell your child how excited you are about the upcoming celebrations. 
• Make a list of all that you wish to do for the festival and let your child know about the same. 
• Ask your child if he or she would like to do something to celebrate Christmas. 
• Be prepared beforehand about the options you would like to give her to contribute to the celebrations.  
• Decide if you both would like to work together or if you would like her to plan her own Christmas celebration. 
• Some options for the child would include- decorating a Christmas tree, making greetings for friends and family, calling her friends over to see her tree, planning a menu for the day when her friends visit, and hosting her friends when they visit. 
• You can give her some exclusive space in your home. The child can decorate that space with her Christmas tree, art work or anything else that she has made for the celebration. 
• Last but not the least, remember to involve her in anything that she shows interest in. For example, if you are cooking a special meal and she shows interest in the same, encourage her participation to whatever extent possible. The best way for children to experience the spirit of festivals is by being an integral part of them, rather than just watching all that is being performed by the adults around them. 

Involve your child, encourage her participation and allow her to experience the flavour of this merry season! For it is only when we experience the joy of something ourselves that we feel inspired to share the same with the world!

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Comparing Children: Does It Help Them Become Better?

Your neighbour's child can count to 100 effortlessly. Your child is struggling to count even up to 50. No matter how many times you get him to practise, he always ends up forgetting the sequence. How do you feel?

Your sister's child has started reading. Your child is still confused with some of the letters and will take some more time to begin reading. What would you do?

On Sports Day at school, your child's best friend wins several prizes while your child gets none. What will you say to him?

Have you ever found yourself trapped in such situations? How do you feel when you think that your child is lagging behind when compared to other children his age?

Disappointed?
Worried about his future?
Anxious that he might never improve?
Guilty that you might not be paying enough attention to his growth and development? 

What do you do when you feel any of these emotions?

Do you let your child know about how disappointed you feel?
Do you tell him that he needs to work harder?
Do you in any way, directly or indirectly, convey to him that his worth is dependent on him winning all those prizes or rattling off those numbers?

And to top it all, do you also feel guilty at a later point that you probably hurt your child's feelings by telling him all that you did?

If that is the case, fret not. There is a better way to handle these issues.

Just do the following exercise.

• Make a list of your child's strengths. The list should include all the things that he is already good at, not  just related to academics but also to other areas such as emotional development, mental makeup and social behaviour. Also include any other innate traits of the child that you think are contributing to the development of his personality. You are likely to find many. 
• Make another list that includes all the areas that you think your child needs to work on, that is, areas of improvement. You are again likely to find many. 

Now use a bit of logic and you will realise that no matter which child on earth you take, it will be possible to make the same two lists with respect to him or her. That is, every child is good at some things and not so good at other things. Some children learn a few things faster, while others take time.The same is true for adults too. Not everyone is good at everything but there is always scope for improvement. Also, some people are naturally gifted in some areas and others are naturally gifted in other areas.

When this is the case, is it really necessary to compare children with one another?

Being able to count fluently does not make a child any more intelligent than others.
Winning the first prize in a race does not make a child any smarter than others.

This is not to say that those are not achievements. They most certainly are. However, they are not the appropriate parameters to be used to make comparisons or draw conclusions about a child's intelligence or worth.

Human beings are unlike machines. Each person is a mix of talents, traits, abilities and intelligences, mixed and mashed in varied proportions. Hence, it is almost impossible and also unfair to compare two children or even adults for that matter.

Whenever you feel disappointed or anxious that your child is not doing as well as you think  he should, go through the paper on which you listed out his strengths and work on-

• Making the child aware of his strengths.
• Encouraging him to develop his strengths.
• Letting him know that you are proud of his strengths.
• Getting him to feel good about his strengths. 
• Making him aware that his worth is dependent neither on his strengths nor on his weakness. He is a worthy child, in the exact package that he is. 

Do you know what happens when you do this? 

One thing is the child begins to work on his strengths and gets better and better at what he is already good at. For example, if he has a flair for writing and becomes aware of the same, he will feel encouraged to work on that and eventually excel in the same. 

The second point is that the child develops a healthy self esteem and self image, that is independent of what he thinks he can accomplish. The benefit of this is that it results in the child also being willing to work on areas that he needs to improve in. And  the best part is he works on improving without the extra baggage of feeling bad, unworthy, jealous or resentful. 

Don't you think that's a healthier way to live, grow and develop?

Comparing children makes them lose focus on their personality and strengths. As a result, many of them spend their energy feeling resentful, jealous and unworthy. They think they are not good enough until they can be like some other child. If they could spend the same energy feeling good about themselves, they would  soar to greater heights.

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If we can open our minds, we would see that every child is a bundle of talent seeds, that are waiting to sprout. However, those seeds will sprout only when they are planted in a garden that nurtures them with the essentials of encouragement, self worth and respectful love. 

It is in our hands to create that garden for our children. 

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The Quiet Child: Does He Need to Talk?

Quiet children face problems wherever they go.- at school, in the family, at social gatherings and everywhere else in the world. While many children are reprimanded for being very talkative, another group of children is constantly labelled 'quiet'. Often, being quiet is equated with being shy. And being shy is considered an undesirable trait by many adults. It is not uncommon to find an adult, usually a parent, pushing a quiet child to open up and talk more, often much against the child's wish.

Have you ever wondered why someone who is quiet must be forced to open his mouth? Especially when he is happy staying quiet?

Before we can answer that, we must first consider the fact that everybody is UNIQUE.
Some people talk more, some people talk less. Some people socialise more, some socialise less.
Some people are extroverts, some others are introverts. Some love the company of people, some others are happy in their own little world.

In short, the world has a mix of people who are as varied as the variety in the world itself.

Consider this-An apple has to look and taste like an apple. Only then would it do justice to the fact that it is an apple.
A deer has to be elegant and timid. Only then would it make sense for it be a deer.

Imagine a deer trying to acquire the traits of a lion or behaving like one. Would it succeed? Or in the unlikely event that it did, would it do justice to its own unique personality and purpose?

Imagine doing something to make an apple taste like a water melon? Would it serve any purpose?

An apple is meant to be an apple.
A deer is meant to be a deer.

Similarly, a human being is meant be a human being, with his or her own unique personality.

Now from this perspective, think if there is anything wrong with being quiet or even shy?
Considering the variety that exists in the world, can we allow people the freedom to be as they are?

Now, one might argue that a quiet or shy person cannot be as successful as a talkative or an outgoing one. But I am sure all of us have met enough and more quiet people who are as successful as anyone else and also quite a number of people who talk a lot but have not been successful.

Well, what does a quiet person do when talking becomes a necessity in life? One may argue that if someone is quiet by nature, they will not have the courage to speak when the need arises.

To this, we might say that an apple is an apple, but when the need arises, it can also be converted into an apple cake or apple juice. But its essential nature of being an apple remains the same.

Similarly, a quiet person will also talk when life demands it. Everyone is capable and will do what is necessary when the need arises. However, their essential nature is to stay quiet and that is perfectly fine.

When we respect quiet children for what they are, they grow in confidence and learn to love themselves. This causes them to build a positive self image. A person with a positive self image stands a greater chance of succeeding in life., irrespective of whether he is quiet or talkative.

So, the next time you feel like telling a quiet child to open up, stop yourself. Take a moment to appreciate the unique nature of this child and respect him for what he or she is. Trust that the child has the capability to talk and open up, when the need arises. Build a rapport and strengthen your relationship.

A quiet child is also a CAPABLE CHILD!



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Ocean Creatures: Poem for Children

This is a poem for young children. It is about the various aquatic beings. Feel free to add your own tune to it!

Look at the ocean,

It’s so blue and deep,

It is full of water,

And many creatures it keeps.

Fish of all colours,

Swim freely everywhere,

Golden, blue, orange and green,

And other colours rare.

There are elegant dolphins,

That pop out and show their fins,

And giant blue whales,

That leave watery trails.

Deep in the ocean dark,

There are sharks-big and small,

The whale shark and the dwarf shark,

Are but two of all.

The good old octopus,

With its four pairs of arms,

The very bony seahorse,

That swims with lots of charm.

Look at the ocean,

It’s so blue and deep,

It is full of water,

And many creatures it keeps.

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The Water Cycle

This is a short and simple write up on the water cycle which can be read out to children just like you would read out a story. Make you sure you modulate your voice and make it interesting for the child as you read.

Have you ever wondered how it rains?

How does water come down from the sky?

Do you know that the water that comes down from the sky was once here on earth?

In fact, it stays on earth for a while and then goes back to the sky. It comes down again when it rains and goes back up again. This goes on and on as a cycle. It is called the water cycle.

This is the story of the water cycle.

The sun shines and gives out heat.

The heat from the sun reaches the water that is present in all the ponds, lakes, rivers and oceans.

This heat causes the water to turn into water vapour or steam.

We cannot see this water vapour. It has no form or colour or smell.

The water vapour then rises up into the air

Once up there, it becomes cool and turns into droplets of water.

These droplets of water gather together and from the clouds that we see in the sky.

When a lot of water droplets are held together, the clouds become heavy. So, the air cannot hold them up in the sky any longer.

When this happens, it starts raining and the water in the clouds comes back to earth.

The rain water falls back into the ponds, lakes, rivers and oceans.

A pat of it also seeps into the earth and becomes ‘ground water’. This ground water is  used up by plants and animals.

The water that comes back to the ponds, lakes, rivers and oceans goes back to the sky again as water vapour and comes down in the form of rain.

This cycle goes on and on. The same water goes up and comes down all the time.

This is the water cycle. 

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The D-word and the Child

One of the words adults use most often with children is “Don’t”.

The D word

Don’t, don’t, don’t

Used with children often,

Help us it won’t.

Don’t sleep now.

Don’t eat that.

Don’t play now.

Don’t touch that.

Don’t bathe now.

Don’t take that.

The more we say “Don’t”,

The more the child won’t.

Won’t listen.

Won’t bother.

Won’t care.

And will dare,

To do the same,

Which you don’t

Want him to do.

Try and remember instances in your own life when someone kept telling you not to do something that you wanted to do. It must have been frustrating for sure. No doubt, there are circumstances when the D word must be used for valid reasons. But if it rolls off the tongue every few minutes, even when absolutely unnecessary, it can be quite exhausting for the person at the receiving end, who in this context is the child.

After a while, we realise that the more we say ‘Don’t’, the more the child ends up doing whatever it is we do not want him to do. Sometimes, saying ‘Don’t’ becomes a deeply ingrained habit in the adult that is difficult to shake off.

The next time you feel tempted to say ‘Don’t’ to a child, think about whether it is really necessary to say it or whether it is being said as a matter of habit. For instance, if you are at a restaurant and the child is meddling with the spoon that is kept on the table, is it really necessary to say, ‘Don’t’ touch that,”? He is probably just fascinated by the spoon and is exploring its features. Or when you are walking and the child stops to pick up a leaf that is on the ground, is it really necessary to take the leaf away and say, “Don’t touch. Put that down,”?

This practice may seem tiresome initially but the results that it will fetch would be well worth the effort. Sometimes, all it requires is a little patience to understand the child and why he does the things he does.

So, when you cut down on your usage of ‘Don’t’ and especially when unnecessary, it will have a greater impact when a situation demands that you say ‘Don’t’.

Then it is very likely that the child would listen too!

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Children and Colours: Match & Learn Fun

This is a wonderful activity to teach children about matching colours and to simultaneously reinforce the names of colours.

You can use old visiting cards for this activity. Alternately, you can use small pieces of cardboard that have been cut. 

1. Paint the plain sides of the visiting cards with different colours. 
2. Arrange the cards in one line on a table or a mat.
3. Place a few plain visiting cards, paint and paint brushes on the table.
4. Let your child paint one card at a time and match it with the ones arranged in a line. For instance, if she spots a red card first, let her independently pick up the red paint and paint a card red. If she spots a blue card next, let her paint a plain card blue and match it with the existing blue card. You can certainly help if the child is lost or requires your initial guidance, but allow her to do it independently after a while.
5. Ask her to name the colours as she paints and matches.
6. If the child is older and can write, let her also write the names of the colours on a sheet of paper as she paints and matches. If you want to experiment more, you can even encourage her to do something different like writing with the paint brush. For example, if the colour she has just matched is red, she can dip her brush in red paint and use the same to write “red” on the sheet. Many children would love doing that. Using fingers dipped in paint to write is another exciting option! Let the child choose.
7.  For a younger child, painting, matching and naming would be sufficient.

Tip for the Adult: You can expect some mess at the end of this activity. So, make sure the child as well as you have an apron on. Spread lots of newspapers and then commence the activity. Do not inhibit the child for fear that the child may get herself messy. Messes can always be cleared but the phase in which children would enjoy and learn from such activities will not last forever! So, make the most of it!


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